There Won't be A Good Time to Post This ow...

[rayc]

I wrote the lyrics to this two days ago & attempted to find a melody yesterday.
In light of Tom Miller's death I decided I'd best toss it or finish it.
I decided to finish it as @Armistice David Smith's solo makes the song work.
It's still a work in progress as I tracked the vocals today.

Minutes Hours Days.mp3

I've left the bvox somewhat pitchy at this stage.
I surprised myself with the reasonable accuracy of the main vocals though.
David on Lead
Band In A Box on drums (the slightly light touch, jazz feel of Marquee Moon) and a tiny bit of piano.
REMIX with tweaked vocal and some tidying.


A major step forward with a tidier mix and an oh so cool & appropriate solo added by @Armisticeaka Honey Hunter David Smith.

CRT0102b.mp3

Lyrics...

Read your way in
Speak your way out
You can't make the changes
If you're crippled with doubt.
Hide in your own skin
Mute your scream & shout
You can't talk to strangers
On the roundabout

Minutes Hours Days Lifetimes
Like rats in a maze
Minute computations
Our procrastination
Dazed and still confused
Life crimes & the serial abused

Talk your way in
Crawl your way out
It all rearranges
If you're with or without.
Peel off your old skin
Mute your scream & shout
You can't walk with strangers
On the roundabout

Minutes Hours Days Lifetimes
Like rats in a maze
Minute implications
Our predestination
Dazed and falsely accused
Lifetime serially misused

Lie your way in
Buy your way out
It all rearranges
If you're caught without.
Try on your new skin
Eat your scream & shout
No silver spoon or manger
When the reigns a drought.

Minutes Hours Days Lifetimes
Rat's likely amazed
Minute alterations
Our brief fascinations
Dazed and still confused
Lifetime's crime excused

[Alison]

This is cool, Ray. I love the panning on your guitars and Armis' break is excellent. Poignant song. . .

[TripleM]

I like the guitar sounds. Cool song.

Vocals are good.

Bass has a hint of bouncy-ball sound. Just a hint. Maybe reduce the lows just a wee bit.

Not sure what you can do with the drums. The OH's/hats seem a bit loud relative to the snare/kick. OH's are not stereo? Makes a somewhat narrow mix.

I would lower the cymbals - that would make more room for the vocals. Then I'd raise the guitars - that would make a little wider mix.

Guitar solo works very well - both the part and tone.

[Armistice]

Could be just me but I'm hearing some sudden autotuning artifacts on vocals here and there, probably reducing the line, so to speak, will clear it out - or perhaps it's the backing vocals interfering - can't really tell, but there's something going on there.

And of course you have to finish it! Seeing I'm on it...

[rayc]

Could be just me but I'm hearing some sudden autotuning artifacts on vocals here and there, probably reducing the line, so to speak, will clear it out - or perhaps it's the backing vocals interfering - can't really tell, but there's something going on there.
And of course you have to finish it! Seeing I'm on it...

& @TripleM
Yeah, a draft to get the "melody' sorted. The updated mix, I'll add today, has those sections replaced with un tuned vocals which, while less melodic, are better.
I've actually brought the verse guitars in a little closer - they aren't double tracked for power so it's a little absurd to have them that far apart.
The drums are a stereo file and I can EQ them a bit - I've EQ'd the open high hat in the verses to be a little less IYF as well as the ride in the final chorus.
I've added some reinforcement to the vocal and a subtle harmony in the quiet spot after the solo.
I work on the relative levels of guitars to Mars when I've the vocals sorted.
THANKS

[Armistice]

Could be just me but I'm hearing some sudden autotuning artifacts on vocals here and there, probably reducing the line, so to speak, will clear it out - or perhaps it's the backing vocals interfering - can't really tell, but there's something going on there.
And of course you have to finish it! Seeing I'm on it...

& @TripleM
Yeah, a draft to get the "melody' sorted. The updated mix, I'll add today, has those sections replaced with un tuned vocals which, while less melodic, are better.
I've actually brought the verse guitars in a little closer - they aren't double tracked for power so it's a little absurd to have them that far apart.
The drums are a stereo file and I can EQ them a bit - I've EQ'd the open high hat in the verses to be a little less IYF as well as the ride in the final chorus.
I've added some reinforcement to the vocal and a subtle harmony in the quiet spot after the solo.
I work on the relative levels of guitars to Mars when I've the vocals sorted.
THANKS

Ah, so the method is to do a scratch vocal, tune it to get the melody the way you want it, then go back and sing the actual melody. Got it!

[TripleM]

Mix 2 seems better balanced - both frequency-wise and level-wise. Bass sounds nice. Maybe nudge the vocal up a db - or everything else down a db. Minor tweaks at this point.

Rhythm guitar tone and parts are cool. I like the bouncing back and forth across the speakers - in a non-distracting way.

[rayc]

Mix 2 seems better balanced - both frequency-wise and level-wise. Bass sounds nice. Maybe nudge the vocal up a db - or everything else down a db. Minor tweaks at this point.
Rhythm guitar tone and parts are cool. I like the bouncing back and forth across the speakers - in a non-distracting way.

Ta,
I've been working on a stereo enhancer to subtly improve what would be the OH spread.
I'll post it tomorrow.

[rayc]

New Mix

[TripleM]

Vocals are sitting good now.

[WhiskeyJack]

I'm coming in on the latest mix here ray. Sounding well put together. Really clean all around.

I feel like the vocals could come up a smidge level wise. But other than that i'd say this is well polished guys. Nice little showing from @Armistice It all gels quite nicely.

teamwork is friggin' dremwork as my neices would say.

[Armistice]

ray writes a song in the style of Television. Tom Verlaine dies. Coincidence? I think not.

Time to do a glam rock Gary Glitterish tune, ray...