Re-tracked and remixed

[JD01]

Here's a track of mine most of you will have heard before but its been re-tracked and remixed along with most of the others.
Sounds pretty good to me but I'm sure at least one of you will point out the blindingly obvious!


I have no lyrical or vocal ideas for this one yet - but fortunately someone else does!

[ido1957]

The only con I can hear is that the guitar used in the intro is a bit loud. It comes in and out of the mix here and there, and though I think it does a good job of driving the song it could be pulled back.
The reason I say that is that is I try to listen to the other bits (like what's the drum doing/lead etc etc) and that rhythm is distracting me.
Lots of plus items though - the song is well written, I can feel that ebb and flow, dynamics are great, it builds exactly where I expect and backs off when it needs to.
Lots of different guitar parts to keep guitarist like me going "cool" another different part there.
Sounds like either you're doubling notes or playing like 2-note riffs up and down. That's great - it gives it a sort of "thickness" that a single note can never do.
The chunka chunka (whatever you call it) is perfect - you've nailed that tone.
Drums are good, bass seems slightly low on the intro/first section but it has great definition.

[JD01]

Cheers, Ido. I'll have another detailed listen to this on my reference headphones later. I don't doubt what you said is right but if its not immediately obvious to me I'll wait till I have a set of monitors rather than making changes blind.

Thanks for all the other compliments - I suppose when you write tunes without even a lyrical idea in mind, you end up sticking little bits all over the place to stop things getting boring.

[rammer24]

I like it right from the beginning. I would do a few things differently arrangement-wise, but 100 people would arrange any song 100 different ways, so that's neither here nor there. The tones and parts are good.


(We still need to get links to open in a new page. When I clicked on the song, it took me to another page, so I couldn't comment while listening. We need to be able to stay on the same page so we can type while the song plays)

[JD01]

I like it right from the beginning. I would do a few things differently arrangement-wise, but 100 people would arrange any song 100 different ways, so that's neither here nor there. The tones and parts are good.


(We still need to get links to open in a new page. When I clicked on the song, it took me to another page, so I couldn't comment while listening. We need to be able to stay on the same page so we can type while the song plays)

Cheers, rami - curious though as to what you'd do differently - I realise the structure is a bit odd in that it has seems to have two pre-choruses, the 2nd one being kind of a fake chorus with the really chorus not coming in until after the solo/2nd verse - which itself is an odd place for a solo.

Regards to opening on a new page - just right click and open in new tab.

[rammer24]

Actually, the only thing that made me say that was the intro. I love the guitar intro and was expecting the drums to slam right in there after one pattern. For some reason, it reminded me of this tune that I'll post below. Listen how the drums just come in and drive the song. But, like I said, I just heard it that way, probably because it reminded me of this tune, so my perspective is influenced by something I had in my head when I heard your intro.

https://youtu.be/zpaYJxSN6U0

[JD01]

Actually, the only thing that made me say that was the intro. I love the guitar intro and was expecting the drums to slam right in there after one pattern. For some reason, it reminded me of this tune that I'll post below. Listen how the drums just come in and drive the song. But, like I said, I just heard it that way, probably because it reminded me of this tune, so my perspective is influnnced by something I had in my head when I heard your intro.

https://youtu.be/zpaYJxSN6U0

Ah, cool. I think this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOBeubfr-xY
Is probably what influenced it most, which is why the track is currently called "Bitter Cm" 'cos it reminded me of it. As soon as I listened to the first riff back in a mix I thought of it.

[rammer24]

Ah, cool. I think this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOBeubfr-xY
Is probably what influenced it most, which is why the track is currently called "Bitter Cm" 'cos it reminded me of it. As soon as I listened to the first riff back in a mix I thought of it.

Yeah, I definitely hear the influence from that tune. The tune you posted also has the drums come in right away, too, actually. That's what I'm hearing with your tune. The way you have the intro now, it almost comes off slightly prog compared to the two tunes each of us posted, which are more punk/rock/in your face.

[JD01]

Ah, cool. I think this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOBeubfr-xY
Is probably what influenced it most, which is why the track is currently called "Bitter Cm" 'cos it reminded me of it. As soon as I listened to the first riff back in a mix I thought of it.

Yeah, I definitely hear the influence from that tune. The tune you posted also has the drums come in right away, too, actually. That's what I'm hearing with your tune. The way you have the intro now, it almost comes off slightly prog compared to the two tunes each of us posted, which are more punk/rock/in your face.

You know what, I just listened to this when I went out to get beers and you're right.

Come in with the bass, the first riff and the feedback straight away, quickly in with the chugging chords and the building drums. Get rid of the slow addition of instruments with the tom beat

[rammer24]

Doesn't hurt to try it. We all have our personal aproaches. Don't let mine decide yours. I always like getting to the point in a song. I also always try to make every second have a purpose. If I have an intro, solo, bridge, etc....that's 16 bars long, I'll always ask myself if I can put the same point across with 8 bars or even 4. That's just me, and that might be why I can rarely get my songs to be longer than 3 and a half minutes.

[ocnor]

Cool tune. I think that the guitars are a hint clacky in the upper mids which could be a problem when you add the vocals. They were a bit loud as well. Also the rhythm guitars were sort of distracting during the lead. You could add some automation to the rhythm guitars to knock down the presence during the lead break. Just my 2 cents.

[Greg_L]

I agree with Ramiro. I very rarely give songwriting/arrangement opinions because it's your song, do whatever you want. But he's right - the drums need to come right in on this thing. Do your little riff thing and then bam, everything's going. The intro takes way too long to me.

The mix is okay. The guitars are a little scratchy to me. I know, Blackstar, yeah yeah, but what ocnor said about the upper mids might be right. You keeep fighting the murky low end of that amp, and for good reason, but I think you're taking too much balls away and overhyping the top end to compensate. Drums and bass seem fine. It'll all change once you get vocals on there.

[JD01]

Yeah, if I get 20 minutes this week I'll chop out that intro to see if I like it then maybe retrack it. When I do that I probably won't be able to resist having another tweak of the guitar tone and retracking the whole thing. See if I can take the mud out of the tone without it losing its balls completely,

Cheers guys.

[Armistice]

I like the tune and the arrangement - good luck with working out words to this baby... I'm pretty much with everyone else on the mix nits - opening guitar is a bit scratchy/spikey, or something like that, and the drums could come up a bit.

I think it's going to be an excellent tune when done though, I was really getting into it towards the end. \m/

[JD01]

Cheers, mate

[rayc]

My 1st thoughts were that the intro is too long. Having now read other comments I have to agree re the arrangement suggestions. OR do something else to add tension or texture as the intro progresses.
It cool & the tones are really good.
Well done thus far.
Oh, I've popped a mix with your solo (+more reverb and less level) onto my thread).

[paulman]

I dig the scratchy guitars. I think you'd have to TRY to write a bad vocal to this. It practically writes itself, which is the best kind of song.

[JD01]

I dig the scratchy guitars. I think you'd have to TRY to write a bad vocal to this. It practically writes itself, which is the best kind of song.

Cheers, Paulman - the guitars (or at least one of them) will get a re-take when I shorten the intro to make it more immediate.

You're welcome to do a vocal if you have time to spare - its a long way down my to do list.

[WhiskeyJack]

I've given it a listen and if it were me, arrangement wise, id just take that floor action you got going on at 0:23 and move it up to the chord change at 0:06. lose the hi hat bit at 0:12 and start that solo picky guitar stuff from 0:23 there instead.

I think it depends though on what you had for vocals? maybe you some vocally stuff in mind for right at the beggining.

[paulman]

You're welcome to do a vocal if you have time to spare - its a long way down my to do list.

I have a pretty long to do list for writing vocal parts myself, but if I get any ideas I'll let you know. Could be just the thing to get me jumpstarted in general.