Not a gig, but...

[Tadpui]

Today a total stranger rang my doorbell. When I opened the door to give him my usual "who are you and why are you bothering me?" look, he introduced himself as one of my neighbors from down the street. He met my wife at the neighborhood Xmas party and she mentioned that I play guitar and had a studio in our basement. Turns out he's a guitarist too, and he's having some friends over tonight to jam and he wanted to invite me. Very thoughtful of him.

Now, to a normal human being with normal social tendencies, this would be an exciting and low-stakes prospect. But to me, who can barely work up the nerve to talk and play into a camera while alone in my basement, this is downright terrifying.

I haven't played with other humans in almost 20 years (except the time I played in front of a packed auditorium of what turned out to be musical savants and music PhD people...I'll relive that nightmare some other time). I don't know any songs. I don't even know my own songs! And I have a very tenuous grasp on learning songs in real time.

This unnerves me greatly. I'm still going to go, because he was so nice to invite me and I've gotta get over this crippling anxiety about playing in front of other people.

I'll let you know if I survive, or if I get super drunk from anxious consumption and barf on his drum kit or something.

[Greg_L]

Today a total stranger rang my doorbell. When I opened the door to give him my usual "who are you and why are you bothering me?" look, he introduced himself as one of my neighbors from down the street. He met my wife at the neighborhood Xmas party and she mentioned that I play guitar and had a studio in our basement. Turns out he's a guitarist too, and he's having some friends over tonight to jam and he wanted to invite me. Very thoughtful of him.

Now, to a normal human being with normal social tendencies, this would be an exciting and low-stakes prospect. But to me, who can barely work up the nerve to talk and play into a camera while alone in my basement, this is downright terrifying.

I haven't played with other humans in almost 20 years (except the time I played in front of a packed auditorium of what turned out to be musical savants and music PhD people...I'll relive that nightmare some other time). I don't know any songs. I don't even know my own songs! And I have a very tenuous grasp on learning songs in real time.

This unnerves me greatly. I'm still going to go, because he was so nice to invite me and I've gotta get over this crippling anxiety about playing in front of other people.

I'll let you know if I survive, or if I get super drunk from anxious consumption and barf on his drum kit or something.

Break a leg!

[rayc]

Good luck Tad. I'm perfectly fine talking, playing & being stupid in front of 300 children but I can't cope with the staff room these days, let alone a social gathering.
I wasn't this way when I imbibed but now, without social lubricant toxic substances, I'm almost antisocial.

[Armistice]

Ha ha! Good luck Tad - just remember, if you fuck it up totally, selling your house and moving to a new one is an expensive, but viable, option.

I've banned my GF from using my music/recording as a conversational gambit with relative strangers. For one, I don't actually want people knowing I have a stack of expensive gear at my apartment. But mainly because while I like doing it, I don't like talking about it.

I was having an inane conversation post my gig yesterday while the second bad was on with a girl from work - nice of her to come - but it was "What sort of music do you listen to?" She was asking... I never have any good answers because I know they've never heard of anyone I currently listen to and I can't be arsed explaining who they are. Plus I've just been on stage singing at people for over an hour and actually quite happy not to talk at all. About anything. To anyone. But one must be sociable.

Let's hope your new buddy down the street has similar musical tastes and there's something you can do. I know how you feel - it's like when someone says "Let's jam..." and I'm like "Kill me....". It's not that I don't like playing with others, it's just that good ones are hard to find and I have zero interest in playing Mustang Sally and other "classics".

I'll await your report!

[WhiskeyJack]

Good luck tad!! Please dont barf!!!

Im there too buddy. Same boat as you. That playing in front of people thing as of late ( last 15 years haha) gives me the heeby jeebies. My sister in law wanted me to test drive her new guitar for her in front of the entire family and i almost projectile vomited on the spot like that south park kid when a girl talked to him. I did it. I didnt like it. She told me to sing something and i just clammed up and handed it back to her saying it was a lovely guitar.

It was really cool of him though to pop down and invite you over for a jam. Very neighborly. Realistically we should all be so lucky to have folks around us like that.

[Lt. Bob]

good luck and relax .... just have fun.

It's gonna go better than you think.

[Tadpui]

Well, I'm already back. That was NOT what I expected

Turns out it was a 60th birthday party for his guitarist friend, and he'd invited a member or two from like 3 different local bands, plus several other buddies that play various instruments. It was a dinner party upstairs, and a jam session in the basement. It was utter chaos. Nobody knew the same songs except the people that came from the same band, and there were so many people in and out of the basement that I never even came within 5 feet of a guitar while I was there. I did get into a 45 minute long conversation with the guy's former car mechanic though...so that's something.

I did carry one guy's giant pedal board in from his car, so I guess I technically participated?

I mean, it was kinda cool and it was nice to persevere through my silly anxieties and just go do something. But I'll have to ping the guy later in the week and see if he'd like to get together under more controlled circumstances. That scene was not up my alley when I'm so out of practice at the art of cooperating with other humans in real-time to make somewhat pleasant sounds.

Thanks so much for your support, guys. I started recording at home just as an outlet because I wasn't interested in the legwork of being in a band once I got a full time job. Fast forward 20 years and I've really lost touch with all of the social skills involved in playing with other people. Maybe this will turn into a good way to get back in touch with that.

[Armistice]

LOL - it's never as bad as you imagine it will be.

I just took it as read that all guitarists were inherently show offs, but apparently not so...

[Greg_L]

Well, I'm already back. That was NOT what I expected

Turns out it was a 60th birthday party for his guitarist friend, and he'd invited a member or two from like 3 different local bands, plus several other buddies that play various instruments. It was a dinner party upstairs, and a jam session in the basement. It was utter chaos. Nobody knew the same songs except the people that came from the same band, and there were so many people in and out of the basement that I never even came within 5 feet of a guitar while I was there. I did get into a 45 minute long conversation with the guy's former car mechanic though...so that's something.

I did carry one guy's giant pedal board in from his car, so I guess I technically participated?

I mean, it was kinda cool and it was nice to persevere through my silly anxieties and just go do something. But I'll have to ping the guy later in the week and see if he'd like to get together under more controlled circumstances. That scene was not up my alley when I'm so out of practice at the art of cooperating with other humans in real-time to make somewhat pleasant sounds.

Thanks so much for your support, guys. I started recording at home just as an outlet because I wasn't interested in the legwork of being in a band once I got a full time job. Fast forward 20 years and I've really lost touch with all of the social skills involved in playing with other people. Maybe this will turn into a good way to get back in touch with that.

Haha that sounds crazy!

[WhiskeyJack]

HAHa!! that sounds awesome tad. It sounds like you had a fun though and it was a great ice breaker to meeting some players in your area!!